Motive Malignment: A game anyone can play (but that no one should).

I am getting tired of the word "homophobia." This word is an accusation that assumes people against the practice of homosexuality are afraid of homosexual people. It also assumes that the accusers know the hearts, minds and motives of the accused. But is this really fair?

 Have you never heard of someone rebuked for saying "I know how you feel," when trying to express sympathy in a tragedy? Even though they mean well, they are often rebuked, with “No you don’t! No one can know how I feel!” It is understandable because no one can really know another’s inner feelings. Likewise, assuming to know a person has a phobia because they don't like something is equally unfair. They may have personal reasons unknown to anyone.

I know individuals who are very sympathetic to homosexual people but feel that the practice of homosexuality is harmful. They oppose it to help their friends avoid problems. The motive for opposing the practice of homosexuality can be an altruistic one, such as friendship or even love for the homosexual. One might not agree with the position, but to attack the motive of person involved in not right. How can it even ever be truly know?

Besides, motive accusation is a two-edged sword. One could just as easily say that those who call others “homophobic” are secretly using a debate trick called the “straw man.” Why? Because in their inner selves they are afraid their arguments are weak and so use “homophobia” to redirect the argument to the personality of the position holder. Since this “straw man” is the invention of the accusers, they make it easy to beat up on, in order to give themselves the illusion of a victory. They do this so they can feel better about a position they could not defend in an honest debate.

See? Once questioning motives is the name of the game, anyone can play. Please do not question motives anymore. Do not call anyone homophobic because they do not like homosexuality. They might not be afraid of you or it at all. They may be the person that loves you the most in the entire world.